Let it go, I am here!

PLEASE CLICK ON TITLE FOR SONG AND LYRICS...NOT HEAVY

These are the words at the top of my page today.  Let it go, I am here!
So today is the day that I shave my head.  I am feeling like I have been slipping into the old Mel.  Hard Mel, listening to hard music, even hard Christian music.  Within our faith we can rebel too and somehow justify it.  The music might be hard but that's OK because its Christian music but what I didn't realise is that it was taking me back to that hard place.  My Pastor Shane prayed with me yesterday for how I would handle my radiation and he says to me, " I have a sense Mel that I need to ask you if there is anything you need to lay at the cross?  Is there anything that you need to (I cant remember the words)...but basically is there anything that I have started to slip back into that I need to submit to God again.  Well I had already started to cry because I knew exactly what he was talking about so I knew it came from God because it was bang on and Shane couldn't have known whats been going on with me, no one has known, its just my thing.  Anyways, so I prayed and asked God to take away my need to lose myself in the hardness of heavy music where I go for an escape and to remind me to just lean on Him and not spiral down into that dark pit.  I was also reminded by my daughter on Sunday that there is a constant battle for our heads and it goes on and on, we don't see it but it is going on behind the scenes so when the time comes when we are feeling vulnerable that's when we really need to up our game and hang on to God with all we have.
I chose the song I did because, its like I recognize and submit and am now once again coming out of the darkness with God, he brought me out into the light and this will be a daily submission and commitment.  I wanted to share it with you all. I hope it speaks to even one of you, maybe you are feeling like I am and maybe you just needed a reminder that even as Christians we can rebel and it is still not what God wants for us.  I never thought I could rebel within Christianity but you can and not even realise whats happening.
God bless you and may you always be protected by angels and the armor of God.