Uuuuuggggghhhhhhh waiting is SO hard!!!!!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=FJ2_Gg6ka-k
 Well I got home from work and there's a message in my voice mail asking me to call Dr. Padillas office (neurosurgeon) to discuss setting up an appointment in......November. I couldn't believe it, November? We are only just beginning October. How can I wait until November. That's so long.  Anyway once I get my head around the wait and remind myself that their office is closed Friday and Monday and I haven't heard from the oncology department with my chemo date.
I can feel my mind getting ahead of itself,  starting to race and I can feel the anxiety starting and the questions flood my mind.
"God, why am I waiting so long? I know there's people worse off than me but I never had to wait this long with Dr Klimo.  Why aren't they taking this seriously.  It's cancer not a bloody cut on my thumb!  Oooohh I'm so mad !!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm thinking they are so disorganized and clearly don't know what they're doing over there.  So I call my dad where my rant continues.  "I'll be their worst patient if I have to follow up every single time!!!!" (Imagine I am just realing these ridiculous statements off out of frustration really.  And let's face it, when he had to do emergency surgery on me, someone got put on the back burner. So I should shut up, get on my knees and be grateful, but....I'm mad!
I am not in control here, they are not in control, God is in control and I an reminded that if I stay in him I can freely feel what I feel and have a safe place to do it in.
It sucks, I can't lie, I just want to get going it seems like forever that I was told its grown.  Time is moving so slowly and this thing isn't getting any smaller on its own.
I am trying to think of something 'quick tongued' to  say but I've got nothing.  Sorry, I try to get a laugh in each time but this time I'm too focused on God and not myself and blowing it big time.  Next time I'll make up for it I promise. This song is keeping me sane, among many others.
My dear friend Lois told me once "Melanie, don't ask God for patience, it's a tough one to learn and you'll be waiting around a long time.". There's my funny contribution.  Thanks Lois❤
Ok guys, so my plan is to call the oncology dept. tomorrow and see what's going on there.
I'll keep you all upto date.
Bless you and thank you for your prayers❤