So, I've been running a little ragged lately, pushing myself probably harder than I should but figured------whatever I can handle it, I'm strong, it's not forever, just for now. I can hear my friend's words echoing in the back of my head,"my Dad used to say, I'll sleep when I'm dead."
This friend is Ali, a very loved and dear friend of mine. So last night I was praying to God and into today and just asking why am I still feeling sick from this flu that I've had since like last Tuesday/Wednesday and then I realize....BING (this is my God lightbulb)....of course, I'm on chemo and these things take longer to get out of my system as they do most. So last night I was talking to my mum and I was a bit sad that I was still sick and that my weight went down and I started to question my trip to Mexico and if maybe I misunderstood God and that maybe I really wasn't supposed to go to Mexico, she calmly says to me," Mel you don't have to always trust yourself, just trust God." And that kinda hit me because it's true. I don't know from day to day what's going to change or happen with my life but one thing I do know FOR SURE with NO doubt is that God knows and all I need to do is trust Him and step aside and let Him do His job.
Psalm 46:10 says 'Be still and know that I am God." I struggle with this. I try so hard to just stay still but it is so hard and I have been asking God to really help me to do this and to lean on Him more....I want to KNOW that I need Him, I want to lean on him for absolutely everything, stripped down to bare bones kind of needing Him, ya know what I mean?!
So yesterday afternoon a wee thought entered my mind, 'always stay humble because of who you are in Me'
This morning I was prayed for on the phone by a friend that I work with and as she was praying about me getting better all I kept hearing was, 'trust Me child, this too shall pass.' and as far as sitting still and knowing He is God----well I've had to clear my entire schedule until Sunday so I can rest up------yes I am sitting still but not by my choice but because God has said now it's time for you to sit!
I guess people; what I'm saying is, it's NEVER about what we want and God totally knows better than us and sometimes its the wee little words in your head or how your cat jumps up onto your lap and snuggles up to you, gently reminding you to just relax.
God knows what's best and I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning to submit to that. He always has my best interest at heart where as I 'people-please' so I push myself beyond what is healthy. We all do it. Go that little bit extra for someone, at what cost though?
Anyways, this has been nice. Talk again soon.
Today, take even just 1 minute to be still and know that He is God.
Remember that He gave us the freedom to make our own decisions, the freedom to chose, and the freedom to make mistakes and experience the consequences. He also gave us the freedom to consult with Him as often as we want. Where else can you get professional guidance for free, on any subject, and pretty much on your timing? Of course you may not always like the advice you get but .............. back to the first sentence...........
ReplyDeleteYour absolutely right Dad. He can guide us but if we choose to go our own way then that's our choice!
ReplyDeleteI find the challenge is making the choice that's best for me not what's best for other people. I'm getting there, slowly but surely, with Gods grace, I'm getting there:-)
I like your comments Dad--please keep 'em coming
What is best for you will always be what is best for others.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot teach what you have not learned. Education of any sort is always best for you because it broadens your ability to help others. Take time out whenever possible to learn something new.
You cannot help others if you are sick, tired, run down. Rest is not only recommended, but it is critical if you want to share yourself with others. Take time out whenever necessary to rest up.
You must maintain a healthy self image. You are special and must believe it. You must therefore treat yourself accordingly. Take time out occasionally to simply self indulge a little......... and then get back on track.
All this means that you are going to sacrifice opportunities to help others because of your own needs however, the end result will be a more efficient and effective Melanie! Love 'n' Hugs.