I think I will give you the main triggering points for me where I was aware of things happening with God.
We prayed every morning before we went out to wherever we were going. On Monday morning my head was lowered, eyes closed, I heard this man start praying in Spanish and I mean PRAYING! I assure you the Spirit roared in thunder when this man prayed. I cannot describe it any other way. I didn't even want to open my eyes to see who it was, I just felt the power and it was incredible. As it turns out, it was someone that works I guess in the church as there were church maintenance employees through out the week. I asked my friend Julie to look for him again because I wanted him to pray for us again. We never saw him again. She told me that his prayer was so powerful and that he prayed for a legion of angels to go before us in our days there. I have never had anyone pray like that before. So amazing, I was touched by the tip of God's finger with that prayer and that began the breaking down of my insecurities in my praying in public. I had asked God to do many things in me and thru me when I was in Mexico and one thing I had specifically asked for is that He would break down my insecurities of public worship (which for me, is praying out loud)
We had a few things on our agenda to accomplish while we were there. The first day we visited a women's shelter and I was asked to give my testimony as I have grown up in abusive relationships and I at one point lived in a shelter with my daughter for a period of time. I totally wasn't sure how or if I could do this. I prayed about it and spoke to the women I was with on the trip and shared my hesitations and fears and decided that I would see how I felt on the day and then decide if I was going to share. Well the day came and one of the other women shared her story and I thought, yup I have to share mine. I understand these woman and know how it feels to be in a shelter feeling that you've been stripped from every bit of dignity and self worth and they need to hear thatand hear that in that God is faithful and is there. I shared and touched hearts and I thank God for giving me the nudge for doing that. I prayed over one lady who also has cancer and then she in turn prayed over me. FYI I prayed in English the entire time I was there and 99% didn't understand me and 99% didn't care.
Each night we would break off into little groups of 3 and pray for one another. Again God gave me the opportunity to pray out loud and release my insecurities even more.
Then IT happened. Mel's breakdown, not breakthru occurred! We were at the orphanage for kids(day 2) with some form of disability and I started to feel very heavy hearted and disconnected with God. I wasn't spending any one on one time with Him and I was really feeling it. I went to Shane and explained my dilemma and I started to cry a bit and he told me to go and take an hour or whatever I needed to pray and get in touch with God. As I was praying, I asked God to just remind me again that He was there with me, then a ton of dandelion seeds blew thru the trees towards me and I knew it was God. I continued praying and boldly asked that someone come out that could pray for me, Judy who was on her 17 missions trip came out to the van and I called her over and she hugged me and prayed for me. I then felt lined up again and went about my day feeling the hand of God on my back the entire time.
The week was going so fast, one shelter, 2 orphanages, I met some wonderfully loved kids that had such a heart for God it was so refreshing to see such pure love, non rebellious love, just a limitless love for God and Jesus. We went to Los Rochas to give out tickets to the people in their homes to return the following night for a food distribution. Oh my...I was not ready for that. My emotions were running so high here. That night I asked Shane if he could be my pastor and talk with me because again i was feeling stressed and weakened (under attack would be the correct term I guess) I told Shane that I didn't feel God was doing what He said He would do and it was already Wednesday....what was taking Him so long? (LOL) I hadn't seen any changes like I had prayed for and we were running out of time. Shane quickly pointed out that the very fact that I am sitting here crying having this conversation could be the internal change that I had asked for couldn't it?! That's why he's the Pastor!! So off to bed I went to rest and get ready for the following day. We did the food distribution that day. Worked during the day painting and light maintenance work at a soon to be opened orphanage and then off to Los Rochas at 5:00PM to distribute food hampers. Shane asked for some of us to be on the prayer team, so we would be standing out with the locals praying for them as they did or didn't get the food hampers. I volunteered as I figured, I need to meet God in this place, I cannot sit and expect Him to do everything, some of it must come from me too!
As I was looking at how to get from the food side of the table over to where all the people were this little girl holding onto the chain link fence caught my eye. She looked like the poster child for World Vision Canada, holding onto that fence with her long brown hair, big brown eyes, dust smeared down her cheeks, awww man it was so hard to see. I wanted to pray for her but as I got out she had disappeared, off to play I'm sure.
So, as people were getting their food they would ask for prayer. Dave Wilson (coordinator) called at me to pray for this elderly lady, she looked about 92 but was probably nothing close to that. She was a widow. I went up to pray for her and as I held her right hand i was aware that it was like holding silk and the wrinkles in her skin were perfect. I pulled her hand upto my face and I held it gently and I prayed over this woman, I gave her a piece of my Spirit that day. Everyone I prayed for that day took a piece of my Spirit with them. Towards the end, I saw a woman pushing her baby in her stroller up this steep part in order to get to the food line. I motioned to Shane that I was going to help her so not to call me to pray. I helped her push her stroller as she was so hot and sweating. One of the Mexican guys came over who was helping with this distribution and after all that it turned out that she didn't have a ticket and therefore she wouldn't get any food. She just looked at me with this blank stare and I felt horrible, my heart wretched for this woman. I have so been there before---no food---with child!!!! I humbly asked her if I could pray for her, she said yes and lowered her head. I lay hands on her and prayed and gave her a piece of me, the piece that God gave me that day to give away.
What I have taken away is that prayer is SO important and to pray for people is truly an honor and blessing. I wish I had the strength to go up to someone I don't know and say, "Can I pray for you?" like I did in Mexico but I don't, at least not face to face. Instead I do it on Facebook. It's a start!
I pray out loud now and truly believe God has broke down barriers for me in my praying life. I am so thankful that I was able to open up and share my heart, Gods heart, with so many people and I WILL go again! When? Where?
Thank you God for giving me this opportunity that so many others don't have, for whatever reason.
Oh and of course... I returned on Sunday May 8 and on Tuesday May 10 I was told that I didn't need to continue on with my chemo anymore. Funny how that seems so minor in comparison.
Hi Mel - You have made an impact on so many people, both in Mexico and here, and for that you should be very happy. I do believe that you are now aware (more than ever) that while each and every one of us is dealing with numerous important issues, the question "How important are they really?" is probably taking on a whole new dimension. You not only gave your time for the service of others less fortunate, but you experienced varying degrees of discomfort, and you have done it all publicly in FB. Nobody said it would be easy, but what an example you have set!
ReplyDelete"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." (Edward Everett Hale)
Love 'n' Hugs.