God my awesome provider (with a side of grumbling) click here for your awesome God song

I wonder if it’s going to let me type the way I want it to today? Nope it's not, I must've changed a setting or something along the way. Oh well it is what it is I suppose, So a while ago we were all stoked that I had graduated from MRI's every 3 months to MRI's every 4 months and if I had 4 in a row clear then I would graduate to 6 clear in 6 months and then the BIG graduation to 1 per year and that would be OH HAPPY DAY well I got the results from my MRI last week, yesterday and......(this is the 'holding your audience in suspense part') my MRI is so stable that I'm skipping the 4 months all together and going straight to 6 months. Is my brain awesome or what?! Now it just needs to teach my liver a thing or two. I'm going to get all the good stuff in now because then I have a bit of grumbling to do because lets face it I'm human and we all have the grumbles at times and now for me is one of those times but I like to start on a high note, my weight is 116.6lbs, now here comes the grumbles, feel free to turn me off if you don't want to hear me grumble I won't know you did it therefore I won't be offended besides I just started a womens book study at my church and the first chapter was about not being afraid of what people will think so here's a good place for me to start, hiding behind a blog. LOL. So here's my grumbling, I know there's people wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy worse off than I am. I have been blessed my entire life, sure i've had my struggles and made some exceptionally shitty choices but God has always had my back even when I didn't know it. You all know I started boxing approximately 6 months ago, well i've lost about a month of training now because my stupid back muscles will not play nice. My brain has no problem, not even over heating like it used to, liver hasn't even been to bad but my back has put me into physio 5 times already in the past 2 months. I've never had to do that before. Now I have to go for back maintenance until my muscles smarten up. I have a friend who suffers from chronic back pain and every other kind of pain you can think of and raises a daughter, teenage daughter no less and I start complaining to him and I am so quick to say, "Who am I to be complaing to you?" He's very gracious with me and doesn't make any smart remarks back. So needless to say I haven't been able to box which means there's been no outlet for me and I've been eating because I'm not really doing much else because it hurts which is why my weight is 116.6. I tried out a Karate/kickboxing school thinking 'maybe if I went back to a style I knew like when I had Elite I'd feel more comfortable' I seriously considered leaving boxing to go back to what I knew but it was totally not the same and I felt like I was trying to resurrect the past and I went through the feelings of sadness from when Elite closed again. Incase you didn't know Elite was a Martial Arts school that I was part owner of from 2004-2009 before I sold to a now very dear friend of mine. Anyway I think thats enough of my grumbling done, oh and actually, huh God is so awesome He just reminded me of something so awesome I dont know how I could have even thought of signing off without telling you all this, unbelievable, OK before I tell you I'm blaming my brain cancer for my bad memory here. A few years ago when Alex and I shared a very small 1 bedroom apt.I asked her to pray to see if God would let us move into a 2 bedroom because I'd been sleeping in a very small living room on a pull out couch. So we both prayed and I had a vision and it was of Gods puffy smokey hands (as I always see them this way)and he was very clearly leaning over top of our apartment suite and it looked like as if you took the roof off a doll house Alex was in her bedroom (we were both plastic doll figures with plastic doll furniture) and God had his hand on me and was moving me around in my dining/living room. and then $1100 came to mind. So a few days passed as I was hoping Alex would come and say the complete opposite to what I had been shown and the amount I had been told because there was noway in my building would that amount happen for a 2 bedroom well as usual my patience ran out so I asked her if she heard from God and she said yes and I asked what did He say and to my disappoint she heard the same thing. Units came up and not wanting to hear Him I asked each time "how much" and it was always over $1100, sometimes it was so close but, well we didn't move so 4 years later Alex moved on and I took over the bedroom and then in July of this year (Oh I just had a thought did I tell you guys this already?) I'm going to go and check but if i lose this i'm going to e so angry.....ok well you're all still here so that's a good sign. So it appears I skimmed over it but not in this much detail so where was I? My building manager flipantly said to me one day "we're renting out the apartment upstairs" so I asked a couple 'feeler' questions that led to her asking if I'd like to take a look so I ended up taking a looking and as soon as I walked in I was so stoked it was so amazing every thing matched there was actually a dining area the cupboard doors in the kitchen were actual white cupboard doors not just white chipped paint the handles on everything in the apt. matched the bathroom and kitchen had been completely fully renovated and the bedroom, dining room and living room had huge windows that just let all the light in and the best part......2nd floor without trees infront NO easy access for spiders. Well in my mind it was a done deal but I remembered what God had told me so I asked "how much is it?" and she said "$1025". I said, "Well, I have to pray about it but I'm definitely seriously interested so if you have someone who's really serious about renting it let me know." As if I could apply pressure on Gods decision hah:) Anyway of course like everyone when we want something we're on the phone to everyone we know asking for prayer right? Well i'm no different than anyone else and that's exactly what I did I tried negotiating with God,"If you let me have this one thing I promise I'll.... and I'll......I won't miss any more church, I'll spend more time with you, read the Bible more, be nicer to people, talk more about you..." nothing! I didn't hear a word. Absolutely nothing, I checked in with my friends it was like a stillness had fallen noone had heard from God and then I was told that they needed an answer so I went to God again and I asked and I said "God this is what I would really like, Alex is gone it's a start of a new life for me it's under the $1100 that you gave me I'm going to go in faith that you're OK with this unless you tell me otherwise. I'm also going to trust in you to pay the rent because I can't afford it but you can, unless I hear otherwise." I signed the lease the next day and everyday since July I've opened the front door I've thanked God for this amazing blessing He has given me this home is such an amazing gift from Him I cannot begin to tell you just how much I am in love with my home there are just no words to describe it. He has truly given me a new life allowing me to live here and He has provided for me everyday in every way from the day i laid my damage deposit check on the table to today when i took out the garbage. God has provided. An accountant and an unbeliever would say I'm stark raving mad, I say I have an awesome God. Now you tell me, how on earth could I have forgotten to tell you that story if not for stupid brain cancer? God is my Everything and it doesn't get any better than that even in the grumbling. Continue praying please for healing in my back and for healing of my liver. Bless you all and thank you for all your support and prayers. Grace please for grammar and spelling.